WHATS GOING ON IN THE WORLD FOR DUMMIES

Theme: Lack of Self-Knowledge

In our city there’s only one gang to be in. We all belong to the Westside Gang. Everybody wants to join us because we’re the biggest, richest, meanest gang in town, and if you get in our way you’re a gonner.

There used to be quite a few pesky little gangs around the city that used to get in our way, but a lot of them have gone now. There was big Slob’s Gang (Yugoslavia) in one neighbourhood, we rubbed him out! It took a while but we got him in the end. Then further out there was the Iraq Gang, we rubbed them out, the Libya Gang, they’re gone and there’s this Syria Gang we’re trying to settle their hash, but those bastards in the Upper East Gang are queering our pitch by helping them!

Another gang we’re gonna get is the Iran Gang, they’ve got some real lucrative business going and we’re gonna take it off them. Things ain’t goin’ too well with that at the minute. You see the current boss of the Westsiders is weak, he’s scared of the sight of blood, but don’t worry he’ll be gone soon. We’ve got a real bloodthirsty son of bitch lined up to replace him then it’s gonna be blood on the streets again.

Now over the other side of town there are two big gangs we ain’t touched yet. One is the Upper Eastside Gang (Russia) and the other is the Lower Eastside Gang (China). The Lower East are a bit out of our way and we’ve got some good narco business going with them so we don’t want to rock the boat too much in that direction for now. Comes the time though, and we’re already working out what to do about them! (The Asian Pivot)

Now this Upper East Gang have got this Son of a Bitch Boss, Putin. He’s really looking to get his! We’ve been goin’ around his neighbourhood for years getting everyone to join our gang (NATO & EU expansion). It’s a cinch, coz nothin’ succeeds like success. See the Putin asshole is always in our way, he even had the nerve to go into one of the neighbourhoods we thought was ours mob handed (Georgia), well we’ll get him soon.

So now this Putin guy, he only controls two streets, White Street (Belarus) and Border Street (Ukraine). So we’ve decided to take Border Street off him to show who’s boss. There’s gonna be blood on the streets man, I tell you this is the big one! So come well tooled up, but we can’t lose.

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